Kathryn Martha

Well, as many who know me already know, I gave birth to our fourth child on Wednesday, July 13, 2011 at 12:40pm. A girl! We now have three beautiful daughters and our handsome little man. We have been enjoying these first few days with her and resting from such an amazing birthing experience.

The journey began after a hard few months of depression. When I learned I was pregnant, I was so thankful that God had brought me to a moment where I could find peace and comfort with the news. I had not been overtaken by my depression but succeeded in pushing through it to come out the other side stronger. So forward I went and with a smile of gratitude to a wonderful God who didn’t leave my side even a moment through it all. I kept myself busy with things to stay less focused on my pregnancy so I didn’t grow impatient. Before I knew it, I was 20 weeks pregnant! I began feeling restless for the next 6 weeks… feeling like it was going by sooooo slow! Then I was able to refocus and it began to pick up its pace once again.

The beginning of May came; eight weeks left until my due date and my husband became ill. Financial, emotional, mental, and marital stress consumed us and my depression came swooping in. Additionally, some unnecessary outside stresses took place as well. I was overwhelmed and did all I could to take care of my health so I could be there for my family. The kids were all experiencing the stress and it was noticeable in their behavior and attitudes. I did my best to maintain but was ever so thankful for the love of those who surrounded me (without which would have certainly brought me to a place I can’t even imagine). I never had to reach out for help; everyone came to my side without any prompting. It was what got me through. After many tears and prayers and struggles with temptations, we got good news that my hsuband would be okay and he slowly started feeling better. We got financial help and friends helped in what ways they were able and finally, my husband was able to go back to work.

It was wonderful to pay our bills on July 9 and know that we were all caught up. I could finally breath and rest easy knowing that this baby would come in the next couple weeks. I rested and spent time with my husband and friends while occupying the kids and having contractions off and on throughout the week. When Monday the 11th came I had 2 hours of good contractions about 10mins apart. I got excited that contractions were taking place and progress was being made.

The following day, I woke up to some good contractions 10-12mins apart and monitored them throughout the day. They stayed approximately 10mins apart for most of the day until later in the evening. They became 8mins apart and as bedtime came, I attempted to get some sleep. I probably got an hour of broken sleep as I attempted to rest between contractions 5-8mins apart. Some back pain and pressure began during early morning hours on the 13th and it made it impossible for me to sleep through any contractions. I sat on the birthing ball come 3am as it was the least uncomfortable place to be.

I awoke my husband around 6am to let him know he should stay home. I was either going to have this baby “today” or “tomorrow” but that the contractions were very uncomfortable and I would like an extra hand with the kids. He took the day off and the contractions maintained a distance of 4-8mins between them. Between the night before and that morning, I went from 1cm dilated to 4cm dilated and anticipated going through another night of contractions. To my surprise however, our sweet daughter would come much sooner than I expected.

I decided between wanting to be comfortable and having people around me to call on that I’d switch back and forth between the birthing ball where I’d have my husband or friends rub my lower back during contractions and the toilet where I could push a little through the contraction which helped relieve some of the back pain and pressure. As such, I worked my way to the bedroom for my turn on the toilet. I had a contraction right away and breathed and moaned through it. Somehow I felt as though it was time to get the bed prepared and I told my husband. He got it ready and came to help me to the bed.

I began to cry as I felt lots of pressure on my bum and perineum. In my exhaustion, I became fearful and began telling my husband that I wasn’t sure that I could do this. He reminded me that I could and to come to the bed. I told him I’ll just do what we did with Christopher and have him on the floor next to the toilet. He encouraged me to the bed as it was right there and attempted to get me in a squatting position. My spd was screaming so through more tears I asked him to help me to get on all fours. It hurt to push and it hurt not to push… my cervix was farther back than with Christopher so with each push I could feel it bear down on my bum and perineum and became fearful that I would tear. I did my best to massage and take my time with the pushing and then I felt her head at the opening and fought the urge to push hard (again fearful of tearing). I pushed and in one big swoop and lots of twirling, all of sweet Kathryn came spilling out of me as the bag of waters burst and she pooped; blood, meconium, and water flooded the bed as I held my 7lb beauty in my hands in shock and awe. I unwrapped the cord from around the back of her neck and stared at her still in a daze from the experience that brought me to that very moment.

My husband prompted me about her gender and then is the moment I saw that she was a girl. I wiped her face down and had my friend help me remove my shirt in order to lay her on me as well as prop up pillows so I could lie back. I don’t even remember anything else… I was so happy that she was there and that I had done it… I had overcome all the obstacles to get to this very sweet success ~ I had pushed through and held another beautiful baby – born into my own hands, in my home, and on my bed. What a beautiful and empowering experience. I’m so thankful for the men and women in my life who helped me in all the ways they were able and for my husband who stepped up when I needed him the most. I’m so thankful that God has given me this beautiful experience and this beautiful daughter to show for all the hard work of this year. When I look at her, I am reminded of what truly matters in life. I am reminded that no matter how frustrating things can get – this is what living for God is all about. My husband and my children and the people who love me through the difficult times.

Thank you to all of you who’ve been there ~ you know who you are.

Kathryn Martha